Grace’s Space

This fall has been challenging for me. Several important things in my life were brought to an end, leaving me sad, hurt and confused. In the midst of this season of change, although painful, God has richly blessed me.

My relationship with Steve has gone to a whole new level. He supported me, spoke on my behalf and continues to pray for me and over me. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband.

My relationship with God has also deepened significantly . At the beginning of this, I spent a dark night of the soul seeking God and He answered. I must confess that I don't exactly like or completely understand His answer. But I am beginning to trust God with all my heart, even when it doesn't make sense.

Through this turmoil, my pastoral couple has come alongside Steve and I.  They have not been with our church for long. And although I really like them, we hadn't gone very deep. As a result of this fall, I now know them much better and have built significant trust with them.

However, although there are many blessings, I still hurt. I must confess that I don't understand what God is doing, or how this will end well.

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to assist a friend as she gave birth.  Before she went into labour, we were talking about how our lives are part of a story that isn’t finished yet. I started thinking about Mary, Martha and Lazarus (John 11:1-44).  I tend to skip over the middle and go straight to the happy ending. I forget about the middle of the story, where Mary and Martha experienced deep grief.  They asked their dear friend, who they knew could heal their brother, for help.  He didn't come.

I can imagine their grief over their brother's death, and that deep sense of abandonment by their friend. Could Jesus really heal? Was Jesus really their friend? Or were the beliefs that those women held dear false?

In this time of grief and deep questioning, I am choosing to hold on to what those two women found out. Yes, Jesus did love them. And yes, His Power was sufficient to bring complete healing in their situation. So as I wait for His power and glory to be revealed, I will strive to remember that He too loves me and will bring about complete healing in His time.